


Mistletoe

by ChunkBueller



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Hogwarts, Humor, Light BDSM, M/M, Nudity, Smut, christmas break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2018-10-10 21:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10448154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChunkBueller/pseuds/ChunkBueller
Summary: Sirius and Remus finally get the Christmas vacation alone that they always wanted.





	

James sat straight up in his chair across from Wormtail at the Gryffindor common table. And by across, he meant he was at at the Gryffindor table and Wormtail was on the far side of the Ravenclaw table. Since it was Christmas Day, no one else was around to sit at their own tables. His own friends, Remus and Sirius, we're off together for Christmas. He wasn't sure why he wasn't invited. They were alone together an awful lot.

Wormtail, he supposed was his friend, he was pudgy and shrimpy and honestly quite annoying. But he was the only one around during the holidays. Well, besides the teachers, him and Snapple.

"HEY WORMTAIL!" James yelled as he stood up. Said boy looked up from his turkey dinner with wide eyes. A few of the teachers looked up when they heard James' sweet voice. Snaep payed him zero attention, much to James' annoyance.

"Yeah?" Peter said it at normal volume so James couldn't make it out. James held a dramatic hand to his ear, signalling Peter to repeat it. "YEAH?"

"WHY ARE YOU ALL THE WAY OVER THERE?"

"TO BE HONEST I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO SIT BY YOU," Peter was afraid of what James might have said but he just nodded.

"FAIR ENOUGH!" he shouted, then muttered under his breath, "Sirius and Remus would've sat with me."

Wormtail was hunched over, looking miserable and James was glad. If he was going to be a little prick, then so be it.

This bored James, so he decided to make some fun for himself. Looking up at the boy on the other side of the room, he grew a mischievous smirk. "OI, SNIVELLUS!"

Sampo made no indication that he even heard James. Which James is sure he did, he yelled using his best Quidditch voice, but decided to try again: "I SAID, OI, SNIVELLUS!"

Nothing. Did Sneeap lose his hearing between Christmas break staring and Christmas Day? Even worse, was he ignoring The James Potter™?

James was dumbfounded. He decided to make Snapai listen to him if it was the last thing he did.

With determination in his eyes, he silently stood up while yelling "I'M TALKING TO YOU!" When the little twat still didn't answer, he grabbed his plate of christmas dinner and his mug of rum spiked eggnog (he was a day drinker) and stomped over top of the Gryffindor table, then directly over the Ravenclaw table. Wormtail and the teachers didn't notice this happening.

When he reached the Slytherin table, he kicked away Snapped's plate and his textbook that had a picture of a naked Lilly Evans in it. How did he even get that photo?

As he was standing above Snpepe, he asked "NOW DO YOU NOTICE ME?!" Smape did not. So out of pitiful anger, James dumped his entire plate of slimy gravy covered food directly onto Spae's greasy head. Snake didn't even look up. James almost passed out from anger and sunk down to his hands and knees, getting right up in Sammpe's face.

"SNIVELLUS I SWEAR TO MERLIN-"

"Yes, Potter?" Samp interrupted lazily. James just about popped a boner he was so furious.

"Couldn't you have responded to my obvious attempts in getting your attention?" he asked quietly. He was so embarrassed that he had been ignored in front of everyone in the great hall.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." A drip of gravy slipped off Sneezy's head with every word.

"You are so dead. In fact, I'm taking you back to Griffindor tower right now so I can strap you to my bed and kill you." James' words excited Sapio.

"Sounds great! I'll bring the whips and mouth gags!" Shapia said, excitedly.

"Oh no it's fine, I think Sirius has some."

Sharpay got up and followed James down to the entrance, making sure to pick up his fallen textbook and precious picture of his beloved Lilly. James was still walking directly on top of the tables.

As they left, Wormtail wolf whistled at the two of them. James considered this odd, as it was the same thing he used to do when Sirius and Remus would leave somewhere together. James just shrugged it off.

As soon as they left the great hall James grabbed Spottpe by the collar, practically dragging him like a dog as they walked the halls of the castle. Shanpe made a strangled noise, but he was enjoying this treatment immensely. They rounded a corner and walked up the staircase leading to the Griffindor common room. James kept his vice grip on Salhpe the whole way there, until they stopped in front of the Portrait Lady.

"Oh, not this shit again," sighed the portrait lady. "What is it with you Gryffindors and Slytherins trying to remake some Romeo and Juliet bullshit."

"Ryan Gosling's abs," James repeated the password for that day and the Portrait Lady swung open.

"Ugh, fuck me," she mumbled to herself.

"That's what I'm going to be saying later!" Shatpe called behind him cheerily as he walked into the Gryffindor common room. The last time he was in here he left with that photo of Lily. Good times.

James stopped abruptly in front of the common room fire. He turned to Snahdid and did a once over. "We need to clean you up," he said, the gravy drenched clothes were not going to do. He took out his meter long aspen tree branch of a wand and yelled "Cleanis-Upious!"

Shannple had a top model-esque transformation and James' jaw was on the floor. Suddenly a trail of mistletoe appeared leading up to the boys dormitory. James grabbed Snap by his collar once again and dragged him up the steps. He was like a sack of potatoes, not even using his legs to assist in the climbing. When they reached James' bed, he threw Snapdragon onto it and shouted. "Clothesis-Offsis!"

Now they were both naked.

"You said you had gags and whips, right?" Shakpe winked as he posed with his

legs open on the bed. There was still some gravy left on his chest that James didn't catch.

"Oh yeah, for sure! Sirius hides them under his mattress!" James pulled out a box labelled "Moony" from under the mattress. When he opened it the box it was practically glowing, like one of those cartoons of a treasure chest. The bondage straps were magically enhanced with 33karat gold.

James used his wand to tie Shangri's hands and ankles to the bedposts.

"Lets get to it!" James yelled and hit Shanpe as hard as he could with one of the diamond encrusted whips. It left a small gash on Sape's thigh, but James used his wand to get rid of the evidence straight away.

James magics his own clothes off and climbs on top of Sen, who is already hard as a rock. He noticed the drop of gravy on Snpe's chest and licked it off, keeping eye contact the whole time. That's when they knew it was really time to get down to business.

James immediately stuck his meat stick in dry as a bone. Snaddy yelped in pain, but didn't use the safe word they originally agreed on yet (it was Dumbledore).

James started thrusting as fast as he could, Snample yelled in pain every time his dick hit that sweet spot. Mistletoe started growing above the bed, but neither of them noticed. Snaps had his eyes screwed shut in pain and James was watching him wither (as best he could being all strapped up) underneath him.

"HARDER!" Schnapps insisted and James complied, putting as much force into his thrusts as he could. Shape screamed louder than he ever had before.

"Dumbledore," James panted and pulled out. He was tired as hell, "Lily was never this much work."

"You should invite me next time you're planning one of those fucks."

"For sure! Ready for another round?" James cheered, eagerly rubbing his hands together.

"You bet!" James rammed his dick back in. It only took a few pumps before there was cum splattering everywhere. It got all over the bed, the ceiling, and the two of them. Stump was gasping with both pain and pleasure. "That was AMAZING!"

"I know, I'm pretty great," James flashed his winning smile (the same one he wore every time he won that sweet Quidditch cup) and lay down next to Schneider. He was snoring instantly and Snaks followed suit.

James was awoken the next morning by Sirius flicking his forehead aggressively. His eyes shot open and he sat straight up.

"Padfoot! Moony! You're back!" James hugged his two best friends while he was still completely naked and covered in dried cum.

"Well, this explains why Wormtail was sleeping in the common room," Remus sighed, looking at the mess in front of him (as in James, not the room). "Anyway, congrats on the.. whatever this is."

"Are those my gold straps?" Sirius asked, and James nodded. "Nice."

Sirius, James, and Remus had a high-fiving party. Snappi was still out cold and tied up.

"Now get Snicellieos out of here," said Sirius.

James used magics to untie Sappy from the bed and pulled him right out his bed, once again by his collar. He then pushed Sansenp down the stairs into the common room and whisper-yelled. "Same time next weekend?"

Snacko threw two large thumbs up in the air. He ran like the wind out of the common room and into the brisk morning.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @ chunkbueller.tumblr.com


End file.
